The Ultimate Pok'e Fanfic!
by kster
Summary: A Pokemon adventure of ULTIMATE proportions! Kira and Danny are two new Pokemon trainers,and during their epic journey they meet tons of new friends, from a druggie Jirachi to a homosexual James! Be prepared to laugh like you've never laughed before! R&R!
1. Make way for Kira!

**READ THIS PLEASE!**

**Hello if you're reading this! This story is about Kira (which is me and that's my real name!) and Danny (Which is Larvitarr whose real name is Danny!) so were basically writing about ourselves but this is no normal fanfic. SO R&R PLEASE!**

**WELCOME TO THE EPIC POKE-FIC!!! **

**THIS IS KIRA'S PART!**

**Written by Kira AKA Kster!**

**DISCLAIMER: I bet you've read my disclaimers so many times that you know what I'm going to say don't you? I don't own Pokemon at all, it belongs to Pokemon USA and Satoshi Tajiri! And if I did own Pokemon, M&MShipping would happen (not that it isn't happening right now!) and the writers who wrote Pokemon would be killed unless they brought Misty and AAML back! But I don't own it but I DO own a Cat so...take that!**

"Pika pika!" the sound echoed over and over again, making my brain hurt. I'd already had to endure an hour of my mum singing, "Girl's just wanna have fun!," and now this? WHY ME! I opened my eyes slowly to find that stupid little rodent sitting there. "**WHY YOU LITTLE PIECE OF ELECTRIC**-" Pikachu slaps butt and runs off. Well isn't that cheery, I wake up to find a yellow fluff ball's butt in my face, what else will God throw at me next?

Suddenly, a voice appeared, "**I DON'T KNOW, WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO SEND YOU A REFERANCE PAGE**?" and then it stopped. I plucked up my courage and replied in my most pissed off whisper, "Very funny God, very funny, don't you have a date with Satan or something?" and then that voice appeared again but magnified by 300 times with a whiny tone, "**WHY DOES EVERYBODY PICK ON ME? ME AND SATAN ARE JUST FRIENDS! YOUR JUST LIKE MISTY WATERFLOWER**!" and then it stopped. "Thanks for the compliment!" and I tossed my brown wavy, hair with blonde streaks back in my most girly way as if to make him think that I may look sweet and innocent but he didn't want to mess with me any day!

Anyway, I live in New Barktown, yep they named it after the Mayor's dog who also has its own night club and restaurant named "Le woofe", how original? I'm a thirteen-year-old girl (your probably thinking I'm WAY too old to be a trainer but here you have to be thirteen to be one in this town!) and I want to be the best Pokemon Master ever!

"Where have we **BURP** heard that **BURP** again?" a small little pokemon with tassels hanging down it's earless sides vomited. "At least I HAVE a dream!" I shot back but Jirachi was too busy checking out his gay porno magazine, "Ooh, who do we have here? Oh yeah, Tracey can draw me anytime!"

That's it! "I'm getting out of here!" and I grabbed my Poke'gear and ran downstairs while that disgusting pokemon was masturbating in my room. Jirachi popped up around town time to time and my house was where he liked to go most of the time, especially **MY **room, I know he was a pervert but i thought he was gay!

"Hey dad, what do you think of my outfit?" I twirled around and did a little curtsey, haha take that Dawn! My dad looked up from his newspaper and said rather sternly, "Aren't those shorts a bit short?", I sighed, he really didn't get fashion sense did he? "There supposed to be short okay?" and I leapt off and grabbed my backpack and ran outside. "NOTHING CAN STOP ME NOW!" and I started to ride my bike down the road that lead to the Pokemon research centre.

"G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S!" I sang as I peddled, my iPod stuck in my ear but then that I saw that Pikachu standing in the middle of the road, right in my way.

"Pika, pika, pika pii!" it sang as it smacked it's butt, "THAT'S IT! YOU WANT A BIT OF TIME WITH MY MALLET! HEY SATAN, GIVE ME THAT MODEL 2000!" I shouted up at the heavens, "**DO I HAVE TOO? I'M HAVING MY NAILS DONE!**" Pikachu and me looked at each other for a moment then, "YES YOU HAVE TOO!" then I pulled out a mallet from my space time pocket and **WHAM!** That fuzz ball was out like a light, "Know one messes with Kira! Ta ta sucker!" but just to be nice I put a fifty dollar note in its hand as it lay there knocked unconscious and then I got back on my bike and started peddling again.

**A FEW MINUTES LATER…**

"Pika pii?" it rubbed it's head in shock but then found the money in its paw. "It's time to do the Pikachu dance! WHAT THE HELL! I CAN SPEAK IN ENGLISH NOW?" and then the narrator replied, "Don't blame me yellow, I only get ten bucks an hour for this gig!". Pikachu turned its mind back to the money in its hand, "I got me some mula! I got me some mula! La la la la!" but the careless pokemon let go of that dollar and it flew away just like that. "**NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! WHAT WILL BECOME OF MY MULA!**" funeral music played as Pikachu sat down and cried but after while rose its head up and said, "At least I have my Ketchup right? RIGHT?"

**BACK AT THE LAB…**

"Hey Kira!"

"Go away!"

"Hey Kira!"

"Shove off!"

"Hey Kira!"

"GO AWAY!" and I hit Dawn's little blue head and did a Misty pose, "The girls still got it!" Professor Elm chuckled as I did another Misty pose…**HEY HOLD ON A MINUTE! WHAT'S DAWN DOING IN JOHTO! I'M THE LEADING LADY HERE!**

"I just wanna be your friend!" and with that the aliens from Zirgun Nine teleported her back to their mothership as we all stood there amazed. "So umm, what's the Tv reception around here like?" I said trying to break the awkward silence, Professor Elm finally tuned back into the world around him and replied, "So you're here for a Pokemon right?" well done Elm, of course I came here to see you make nachos didn't I? And this guy calls himself a professor!

**MEANWHILE...**

**What did you think about me? Next chapter we have Danny at Papa Lugi's! Get ready for more laughs along the way! R&R PLEASE! With Cyndaquil's on top!**


	2. Brock and Sudowoodo ?

**MUST READ THIS!**

**After every chapter or so (it depends) I'll be posting one of me, Larvitars and Ashxmisty's skits so here's the first one that I wrote! Please don't be offened by any of what we write because its' just for fun and we still love Pokemon but mocking can be a little fun! Authoress out!**

**DISCLAIMER: I always do these don't I? I must really annoy people by repeating the smae things so I'll say it simply like this: I don't own Pokemon and I don't name a cap called Freddy! (or do I?)**

**KSTER'S SKIT!**

**WE SEE OUR HEROES WALKING IN THE PARK...**

Ash: Singing, "I like pizza, I like fries, I like pies that fall from trees!"

Dawn: **"WOULD YOU SHUT UP!"**

Ash: Gulps, "Yes ma'am!" salutes

Dawn:"Where's Brock gone now?"

Misty:"I think that he's gone off women for awhile now."

Ash:"What do you mean Mist?"

Misty:"Look over there!" points to where Brock is licking a Sudowoodo

Pikachu: Shields eyes

Jirachi: Smoking ciggarette, "That's even more disturbing, last time he tried to hit on a bananna peel, poor guy."

Misty:"Ash, you called me Mist! I love you!"

Ash:"I love you yoo misty!" and they both start maing out!

Dawn:**"WELL I'M NOT JUST GOING TO STAND HERE!"** And angrily starts twirling around

Pikachu: Walks up to Misty

Misty: "Borrow my mallet sure! Just make sure to aim for the head!"

Pikachu:Grabs mallet and wacks Brock unconsious

May: Walks by, "Dodododododododododododo dodododododo!"  
Max: "Shut up with that lullaby! We already heard you in the 7th movie!"  
May: "Me have no brain!" starts singing again

Kenny: "She said do do!" starts laughing uncontrollably on the ground

Max: Sees Misty and Ash making out, may repeatedly singing "Do do!", Dawn screaming about the world while twirling, Brock laying uncosious on top of Sudowoodo in an disgusting style, Kenny laughing uncontrollaby on the ground and Pikachu hitting Spearow like tennis balls with Misty's mallet  
Max: "Is it just me or is there something wrong with this picture?"

**A FEW HOURS LATER...**

Dawn: "I am totally the greatest! I just got a ribbon! I just got a ribbon! I just got a ribbon!"

Misty: **"DAWN YOU'D BETTER BE QUITE OR I'LL STUFF YOU RIBBONS SOMEWHERE ELSE!"**

Dawn: Gulps,

Ash: "She's sweet the first minute, and can hit you with a frying pan the next. That's my Misty!"

**TO BE CONTINUED SOON...**


	3. Mamma Mia!

**Hell again! This time this is Larvitarrs part but since were working together on this I'm posting this up for him! THIS IS NOT MY PART OF THE STORY THIS IS HIS SO DON'T GET CONFUSED! (sorry for doing that caps but it needs to stand out!) But I'm sure that Danny AKA Larvitarr hopes that you like it! Enoy and remember: R&R OR THAT WIENER GUY DOWN THE ROAD WILL GIVE YOU A NASTY SURPRISE!**

**DISCLAIMER: Me and Danny don't own Pokemon so don't sue us and we'll own Pokemon when Pearlshipping happens which is going to be...NEVER! (no offence Pearlshippers!)**

**MEANWHILE, AT PAPA LUIGI'S...[switch over to Danny] **

"Can I please have some more iced tea? I've only asked 17 times."

"Where's my food? It's taking forever!"

"I'm starving! GIVE ME FOOD!"

I sighed. This is _really _getting old. Being a waiter is tough. Especially when the rest of the staff in the whole freaking restaurant are total idiots.

"I'll be right with you all!" So I lied. Big deal.

"I WANT MY DINNER! **NOW!**"

Oh wow. This guy means business.

"Um...well, you see, we're kind of behind schedule today..."

"KIND OF!? I'VE BEEN HERE FOR THREE HOURS! AND MY DINNER STILL ISNT HERE!"

"Take a chill pill, dude." I said with a huge sweat drop.

"No, I will **NOT **TAKE A CHILL PILL! I WANT FOOD! YOU'RE GONNA PAY!"

Oh, you think you're so tough, huh? Never underestimate the power of a well-aimed mallet hit to the chops... "Hey Satan, this guy's askin for it, gimme that model 2000."

"Can't I get a manicure in peace? Besides, someone else is using it. Take the 1500."

Someone else? I didn't know someone else knew about Satan's goody-goody side...But back to the important part...

WHACK! BOOM! SHABANG! SPLAT!

I walked away dusting my hands off, "That oughta teach him the value of patience..."

"Excuse me? I need some more iced tea."

"And _I _need some more lemonade."

And _I_ need a real job...

"Why am I the only person with some sense in this place?" I asked myself.

"Like, I'm sensical!" May said as she skated by barely balancing a tray of hot soup.

"That's not a word, May."

"Like, wanna hear me sing?"

"Oh God, no."

"Okay! DODODODODODODODODODODODODODODODO!"

Not the lullaby again...poor Manaphy, if I had to go to sleep listening to that I'd have eternal nightmares...

"Oh my God, May look out!" But it was too late...she skated into a customer and dumped the boiling soup all over him.

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" The man screamed in pain.

"Like, OMG, I'm like, so so _so _sorry!"

"Hahahahahahahahahahahaha! She's so clumsy, hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!" Kenny collapsed in a heap of laughter. Boy, that kid has issues...

"MAMA MIA! A-what is a-going on-a here?"

Great. Papa Luigi, exactly who I wanted to see.

"I'm sorry, sir, she tripped, it wasn't her fault!"

"Well, that-a doesnt matter, you both are a-fired."

"What!? How are you going to get along without me?"

Papa Luigi looked around. Ash and Misty were making out in a corner, Kenny was rolling around uncontrollably on the floor, and Max was lecturing a drooling Brock about the reproduction of cephalopods.

"You can't run a restaurant with this!"

"We'll a-manage. Danny and a-May GET-A OUT!"

"B-but..."

"OUT!!!"

"Fine!" I grabbed May by the arm and walked her outside.

"Oh, look! A pretty butterfly!"

"That's a bus, May."

"I know, but it's a pretty bus!"

I sighed again. What am I going to do?

"Oooh! I know! Let's become Pokemon Trainers!"

Wow, I've always wanted to be a trainer...and hey, I'm 13 now! I can get a Pokemon from the lab in New Bark!

"May, I think that's the smartest thing you've ever said."

"Well like, what are we waiting for? Let's go!"

And so we ran off to Prof. Elm's lab for our very first Pokemon, May singing DODODODODODO at the top of her lungs. I was in such a good mood I could almost join in.

_Almost._

**Did you like it? I sure did! Danny's part rocks! Anyway, keep reading to find out what May is doing tagging along with us, how do Danny and Kira meet? And more importantly, will Satan and God's relationship be found out? Only R&R will help you!**


	4. May's away!

**FINALLY I'VE WRITTEN THE NEXT CHAPTER!! I'm so sorry to all our readers but I've been really busy lately with School but I have no homework at all now so I'm free at last to write the next chapter! And a BIG sorry to Larvitarr since I know you've probably been waiting AGES for me to type this up but I finally did and I hope that you like it! So here is our latest chapter! And to Mayluva2911, with that bit about me being cooler than May, that's just something me and Larvitarr came up with as a joke (and I know I'm not cool!) so please don't take it to heart! And remember to...R&R!! This story can't be updated without reviews! So if you want to keep laughing yourself silly, then review!**

**DISCLAIMER: We don't Pokemon at all, it belongs to Pokemon USA and Satoshi Tajiri and we will own it when iPods become homosexual billbies and eat lamp shades that flash Bill Clintons phone number and Harleu turns straight!**

**KIRA'S PART**

**Written by Kster**

**BACK AT THE LAB...**

"**OH MACARENA! YOU CAN'T TOUCH ME, CAUSE YOU WANT ME, CAN'T HAVE ME!**" Professor Elm sung at the top of his lungs while his assistants smacked their butts behind him. "Do you know when they're going to stop?" I asked the talking Donut next to me. "I don't know, but your in a hole lot of trouble!" Wow, even Donuts make lame jokes. I've had enough, I really wanted to choose a Pokemon and no belly-dancing professor was going to stop me! Then suddenly a giant Gorilla smashed through the lab and grabbed Elm and ran away.

"Does anybody care?"

"……………………………………**LET'S PARTY EVEN MORE!!!**" and the lab turned into a disco floor and the assistants danced even more. Now was my time to get a Pokemon…

**OUTSIDE IN A GARBAGE BIN…**

James: "Oh finally you're here! What took you so long?"

Harley: "Well I just had to choose from these two adorable outfits to wear! The hot pink leather booty bum flap jeans or the sexy black cargo waist jacket! And then I was like, "**OMG!** Why don't I just wear the fuzzy orange mini skirt?"

James: Sighs, "And they call me gay!"

James: "Anyway, were going to break into that lab and steal this book called the, "The remucious origins." And then were going to…HAVE A COCKTAIL PARTY AND GET STRIPPERS!"

Harley: "Male ones to be exact!" and they both started doing hippy moves to, "Stars are blind."

**IN THE MIDDLE OF NO WHERE…. OR SOMEWHERE…OR BROCK BUTT…?**

Danny: "May, what are you doing?"

May: "I'm following the magical leprechaun!"

Danny: "That's your shadow stupid."

May: "Like, sure, like a shadow could have such a hot, like, figure, like mine!"

Danny: "Why did I let her tag along again?"

May: "Like, what's that in the middle of the path?" and in the middle of the path was a small circle with a blur gem in the middle of it.

Danny: "I think it might be a teleporter!"

God: "Yes your right, it'll teleport you to wherever you want to go! Now let me get back to my waxing! **OH FABIO!! I NEED YOU TO GET CHANGED INTO THE THONG I BOUGHT FOR YOU!**"

D&M: Shiver

May: "Anyway, I'm so totally going to try out that tele thing!" and runs towards the teleporter and disappears

Danny: "**DAMM IT!!! MAY COME BACK HERE!!! YOU SHOULD KNOW NOT TO TRUST GOD WHEN HE'S DOING HIS POOL BOY!!** Oh right, she doesn't have a brain!" sighs and goes on the teleporter and disappears as well

**BACK IN THE LAB….**again

Kira: Grabs the Pok'e ball in the middle of the table next to her and does a twirl and shouts, "**GO POK'E BALL!**" and threw it and out of it came a small, little Cyndaquil

Kira: "A-a-a Cyndaquil? **IT'S SO CUTE!!! I'M FINALLY GOING TO BE A POKEMON MASTER!!**" and she starts dancing to, "Just dance."

May: Pops right in front of Kira, "Like, OMG! We are going to be, like, the bestest of friends!" puts necklace with BFFL on it around her neck

Kira: "I think it's mallet time!" gets mallet ready and hit knocks May out cold, "No weird girly girl idiot is going to be my best friend!"

Jirachi: Starts crying, "B-b-b-but I-I thought we were friends!"

Kira: Tosses Cocaine at it

Jirachi: "Aww, that's what buddies are for!" and starts reading porn and smoking pot

Kira: "Well it's time to start training! **LET'S BRING IT ON!**"

Danny: "Where am I?" looks at May who is knocked unconscious and then Kira, "This girl is much cooler! Sorry May but I'm sticking with her!"

May: "But, like, I'm cool!"

**IN A UNIVERSE FAR AWAY…**

Michael: "May is the coolest! And the whole world knows that!"

K&D: "Was that just us or did some one just say May is cool?"

Kira: "Apart from that disturbing scene, my name is Kira! Nice to meet ya!"

Danny: "And my name is Danny! How would you like to travel together?"

Kira: "Sure! Let's try and get as far away from here as possible."

Danny: "But first of all I need to get a Pokemon!"

J&H: "**WERE HERE DARLINGS!**"

May: "Oh dododo!"

**DUN DUN DUN! Next time what will happen when the ever so gay James and Harley pop in for a surprise? And will Danny ever get his Pokemon? And next chapter we have more skits written by Ashxmisty, Nighting, Larvitarr and me! So R&R or Max will hunt you down and give you a 738738998489 hour lecture on how dogs can't read!!**


	5. Victoria Secrets Super store revealed!

**We haven't posted a skit up in awhile so heres a special present to you! (give reviewers present!) This time this skit is written by my awesome partner in writing...DANNY! (Who else did you expect it to be? Lindsay Lohan?) After hours of correcting and slaving my butt off (I'm just kidding!) this skit is finally ready to be well, read! Please enjoy and R&R OR KING KONG WILL PROFESSOR ELM WILL TRACK YOU DOWN! Just a warning now enjoy!~ And this Kira/Kster writing in!**

**DISCLAIMER: Danny and I DON'T own Pokemon at all, it belongs to Satoshi Tajiri and Pokemon USA but we DO own a small, crack pot addicted, hornily gay, acholic, little ray of sunshine called, "Harley's orange underpants incorporated little bones for yoodles." Sorry Jirachi!**

**(Danny's Skit!) **

May: "Oh. my. god."  
Max: "That's the first comprehensible sentence she's said all day..."  
Kenny: "HAHAHA! first comprehensible sentence shes said all day...**HAHAHA!** thats **SOO** funny!"(starts rolling around on floor once again)  
Max: "And people wonder why I dont have friends."

May: "Back to what I was saying...oh. my. god. Is that an **ICE CREAM STAND??** I think it is! This calls for some singing! **DODODODODODODODODODODODODOODOD ODODODODODO** (inhales sharply) **DODODODODODODODODODODODODODODO DOODODODODODO!"  
**Dawn: "Um, excuse me, May, but it's time for my spotlight! **I WON A RIBBON! LOOK AT ME EVERYBODY! I WON A RIBBON! A BEAUTIFUL SHINY RIBBON! ITS ALMOST AS BEAUTIFUL AS ME!...**  
(Dawn continues over Mays performance of **DODODO** and Kennys uncontrollable laughing)  
Jirachi:(puffing away on a pipe) "What in arceus' name...can you all do me a favour and **SHUT THE HELL UP!**"

**Meanwhile....  
**

Misty: "But doctor, isnt there anything we can do?"  
Dr. Kster: "Vell, it seems he is quite disturbed in zee head."  
(Misty pats Brock on the back, who is trying unsuccessfully to make out with a trash can lid)  
Ash: "You're sure theres nothing?"  
Dr Kster: "Vell, now zat I think about it...zere is **ONE** thing that might be able to save him..."  
Misty: "Yes? yes? we'll do anything!"  
*whisper whisper*  
Ash: "No...it's too risky..."  
Misty: "But we have to give it a shot!"

**EVERYONE GOES TO THE MALL....**

May: "Oh. my. god. Is that a Victorias Secret store?? This calls for some more singing!"(breathes in)  
Pikachu: "**PIKA!**"(hits her over the head with mallet)  
May: "Do do...do..."  
Pikachu: "Pika pika, pikachu!"(she wont be waking up for a loooong time! heheh...)  
(the gang walks up to victorias secret)  
Ash: "Are you sure about this? It could cause him to go into a rampage!"  
Misty:(in a dramatic fashion) "Trust me Ash. It's the only way."  
*they thrust brock into the store*  
Brock:(drops trash can lid, looks around at all the posters, then runs toward the ladies fitting rooms)  
Misty:(grabs brock by the ear) "Yes! looks like we have good ol' Brocky back to himself!"  
Brock:(dashes off after an attractive woman who just walked by)  
Ash: "Yay! What do you say we celebrate?"  
Misty: "Sounds good to me!"(they start making out)  
Dawn:*twirling hair* "This is **SO** very awkward..."

**How'd you like it? Yes, we make up random stuff and we like it! Also to any flamers who may think we are treating the charcaters wrongly if we are such huge fans of the show, well we are just poking fun of them, we still like Misty, Ash, Brock (Except May! DIE! DIE!) and etc. but it's fun writing skits about them! NO FLAMERS!! Or get ready to get Satan's horns up your butt! Please R&R! And if you do, Jirachi will give you his prize Crack award which is... MADE OUT OF GOLD!! First person to review gets the award!**

**And one more thing. If you are a May fan, we apologizse if we have offened you but it's merely for fun!**


	6. Harley and James sitting in a tree

**Hey everyone! Poor kster's been stuck doing all the intros so I thought I'd do one for ya! Yep, it's me, Larvitarr aka Danny! Sorry for the wait, but I finally wrote the next chapter! An enormous thank you to everyone who's been reading and reviewing, we love you guys! (Pikachu gives our readers a bottle of ketchup and smiles!) We hope you enjoy this chapter as much as the others! =D**

**Disclaimer: Can't forget one of these! Me and kster don't own pokemon, BUT we do own this story! Not to mention a kitty cat named Arnold who flies to the moon and gives us rice cakes! But that's another story...**

**ENJOY! or else! XD**

"**WE'RE HERE, DARLINGS!**"

The lights in the lab suddenly went dark and two spotlights appeared on James and Harley twirling around and blowing kisses.

"Um... okay?" Kira and Danny stared at them in shock. "And we care **WHY?**"

"**GASP!**" Harley exclaimed. "We like, worked hard on our grand entrance! You like, don't have to be so, like, rude!"

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever," Danny said.

"What do you freaks want, anyway?" Kira asked.

At that they jumped from their pedestals, did some interpretive dance moves and then landed leaning against each other. "We're here for 'The Remucious Origins' of course, now hand it over!" James said with an extremely gay flip of his hair."Don't make us take it by force!"

"Oh, I'm _real_ scared now," Kira said sarcastically.

"Don't you dare mock us, little girl! We're going to get that book, and you can't do anything about it!" Harley said with his hands on his hips.

"We don't even know what you're talking about!" Danny said back to him, starting to get annoyed.

"**LIES!**" James shouted viciously. "**GIVE US THE BOOK, NOW!**"

"**WHAT BOOK!?**"

May: walks into the room carrying The Remucious Origins, "Hmm, this looks pretty interesting!" starts reading it upside down.

Harley: "Aha! We'll be taking that, missy!" grabs the book from May and he and James try to run out the door.

Kira: "Oh no you don't!" steps in front of them holding a mallet.

James: "So you want to try and stop us, do you? How heroic. Fine, we'll accept your challenge!"

Danny: "You mean a pokemon battle? I don't even _have_ a pokemon yet thanks to you people!"

Harley: "No, not a battle, you silly salad, a dance-off!" snaps his fingers and disco lights appear and Circus by Britney Spears plays loudly.

J&H: smack their butts and spin around holding hands.

May: "**DODODODODODO!**" leaps around twirling a ribbon

K&D: "We'll be right back..."and they leave them to party and run into the other room to pick Danny's first pokemon...

**Meanwhile on the Planet Zirgun Nine...**

Dawn: wakes up on an experiment table and finds aliens standing over her, "**EEEEEEEEEEEEEK!** Get away from me! I can't go near anyone as ugly as you!"

Aliens: "Beep beepbop!" ("Why did we abduct her again?")

Dawn: holds up her hairbrush in defense, "I'm warning you, take me home or I'll hurt you!" starts doing kung fu moves.

Aliens: look at her angrily, "Boop bee bop!" ("Fine, you're freaking annoying anyway!")

**Back at the lab...**

Danny held up two pokeballs, trying to decide which one to take as Kira tapped her foot impatiently. "Chikorita... or Totodile? Chikorita... or Totodile? Chikorita... or.."

"Oh, just take one already, we've been here for 15 minutes!" she finally shouted at him.

"Okay, sheesh! I pick this one!" Danny said and threw his pokeball and a tiny blue crocodile-like pokemon appeared in a flash of light. "**YAY! A TOTODILE!**" hugs it tightly "I'll treat it with love and care, and always feed it and be it's friend..."

Kira: drags him away, "That's great, now let's move!"

**At the dance party...**

J&H: dancing with male strippers, "Ooh, baby!"

K&D: walk in, "Oh my God that's disgusting!" Turn off the music and put the lights back to normal while shielding their eyes..

Everyone: "Awwww!" walk out booing.

Prof Elm: munches on banana, "Come on, Kong, we can hit the local club!" runs off with the gorilla.

Danny: "Anyway, we're not letting you get away with that book no matter what!"

Harley: "We'll see about that!" and he and James both threw their pokeballs and out came a pair of... **LUVDISC???**

Kira: bursts out laughing, "How romantic!"

James: "Shut up! We are **NOT** a couple!" but he and Harley blushed bright red. "Just send out your pokemon and get this over with!"

"Sounds good to me!" Kira shot back. "**GO, CYNDAQUIL!**"

"**I CHOOSE YOU, TOTODILE!**"

The two adorable pokemon struck poses and stood to face their very first opponents.

"Alright, Luvdisc, use water gun!" Harley and James shouted in unison, and the two heart-shaped water pokemon obeyed, spraying a blast of water at Cyndaquil and Totodile.

"Dodge it!" Kira and Danny said together. Their two pokemon leaped up into the air and easily avoided the attacks.

"Nice!" Danny exclaimed.

"That was fantastic!" Kira shouted. "Now use tackle, Cyndaquil!"

Cyndaquil rushed towards James' Luvdisc and slammed into it head-on, knocking it out.

James: "Eeek! How dare you!" runs over to his Luvdisc and calls it back. "Now it's all up to you, honey!" and gives Harley a hug.

"Ew!" Kira and Danny both looked at each other, gagging.

"Ignoring that disgusting moment, Totodile, use bite attack!" and Totodile promptly chomped down on Harley's Luvdisc, easily KO'ing it.

"Noooooooooo! Our master plan, stopped by some rotten kids!" Harley fell to the ground and cried.

"Alright, let's finish this up! Cyndaquil, use flamethrower!"

"And Totodile, use water gun!"

The two powerful attacks spiraled together toward James and Harley and then...

**BOOM!**

The homosexual villains blasted through the wall and shot off to the sky, clutching each other in terror until they disappeared into the sky.

"Oh yeah!" Kira and Danny exclaimed happily, giving each other a high five.

Jirachi: appears out of thin air and says angrily, "Way to **BURP** go, now I have to find a new gay couple to hit the clubs with!" and vomits.

Kira: "Oh, cry me a river!" and whacks it.

Danny: "Anyway, I guess we'd better get going!"

Kira: "**POKEMON ADVENTURE, HERE WE COME!**" and the two of them stepped out into the bright sunshine to begin their Pokemon Journey!

May: stuffs Jirachi and "The Remucious Origins" in her backpack and chases after them, "**LIKE, WAIT FOR LIKE, ME! DODODODODODODO!**"

Narrator: "And so begins the journey of our heroes. What sinister evil lurks ahead? What exactly is "the Remucious Origins" about, anyway? How will Kira and Danny survive with May and Jirachi tagging along? Will James and Harley hook up at the end of this fanfic? Will I ever stop talking? You just have to wait to find out! Oh, wait... one more thing...

**In the middle of freaking nowhere...**

Aliens: Toss Dawn out of the mothership onto the ground, "Beep bop boop beep!" ("Do us all a favor and die!") fly off

Dawn: "**Nooooooooooooooooo! **How will I survive without my hairbrush??"

**So how did you guys like it? Make sure you R&R! If you don't, we WILL find you. Oh, but please, no flamers! If you flame us, prepare to ("Disco inferno" plays) "BURN, BABY, BURN!" XD stupid, I know! after all, that's our specialty! But seriously, review. **


	7. A whole lotta Papa and Porno!

**...I'M BACK!!! (the whole of Fanfiction screams in shock!) Me and Larvitar haven't been on fanfiction for awhile since we've been been pretty busy with School and all (teachers laugh as L&K are flooded by homework!) but since our story hasn't be updated for AGES (old guy coughs!) I thought I might as well add some new skits! Were still updating but were both busy but this story is still being continued so there's no need to stop reading it! (laughs nervously as reviewer takes it off alerts!) I hope that doesn't happen or hundreds of crying Marills will find you! So I'll zip my mouth up now and remember, enjoy and review! =)! (because reviews motivate us!) And this is Kster/Kira by the way! My skit was pretty short so there's a double one in there for all you great reviewers! (does extra cheesy smile!) You guys definitely deserve it for waiting so long!**

**DISCLAIMER: Danny and I don't own Pokemon it belongs to Satoshi Tajiri, and we will own it when radioactive chesnut Twix multicoloured Asian knives learn to speak Jay Leno and Taylor Launters hotness fades away! (but that only applies to me though!) **

**(Kiras Skit)**

Larvitar: "Welcoma to Lugi's! I am Papa Larvitar! Maka ya selves welcome!"  
May: On rollerblades, "Dodododododododododododo!" and crashes into wall  
Kenny: "She said dodododo bam!" runs into kitchen and laughs over sink crying with laughter  
Brock: Drooling and staring at girls in the corner  
Dawn: Starts doing the tango with Pachirusu who's wearing a tux with a rose in its mouth  
Jirachi: Getting drunk, "And I, **BURP** s-sa-said holby smolki my** BURP** eye!"  
Ash: Wearing Mario costume singing, "**IT'S SUPERCALAFRAJALISTICEXPAALDOSI OUS,SINGING THIS MAKES IT EVEN MORE ATROCIOUS!**" while wearing pizza on his head  
Max: "This is explanotror means of adversary disturbance is linked to the high pyothesis!"  
Misty: Starts being a DJ, "I, I, say is there a big P in da house?"  
Pikachu: Puts on big bling necklace and shades, "A pii, pi, pikachu, chuuu, pika pii!" starts playing mallet like a guitar  
Larvitar: "Where's the pizza! Come people! serva!" goes into kitchen and sees Ash and Misty making out and May singing to a brick wall  
Larvitar: "Why do I get the cooky staff?"

**(Dannys Skit)**

Dude: (to dawn) "Umm, excuse me miss, but can I **_PLEASE_** have some Iced tea? I've only asked you 24 times!"  
Dawn: "Do I look like a waitress to you? No, I am a Contest champion! **YAY ME!!!**",(skates off, crashes into Misty who is carrying a tray. Food flies everywhere!!!)  
Misty: "Grrr...you little....**GET BACK HERE DAWN!**" (reaches for mallet, its not there!) "I knew i should have never let Pikachu borrow it!"  
Pikachu: Smacks butt and runs off with Mallet.  
Dude: "**WHERE IS MY ICED TEA!!!!!**"  
Jirachi: "Woah, dude! You need to chillllll!(hands him bottle of wine) Here! does wonders for me!"*falls over*  
Papa Luigi: "**OK PEOPLE! WE NEED TO CALL A MEETING! EVERYONE LINE UP!**"  
(Mayluva, Larvitar, Kenny, Brock, Max, and Ash arrive in waiter outfits, and Kster, Ashxmisty, Autbumn, and Misty appear in cute waitress dresses *they salute*(May and Dawn arrive on matching roller skates twiddling their hair.)

Dawn: "**Oh.** **My. God!** We like, have the same rollerskates!"  
May: "Like, no way! We totally do! I think that deserves some singing!"  
May and Dawn: (intake breath sharply) "**DODODODODODODODODO**" (lose balance and fall!)  
Kenny: "**HAHAHAHAHHA!** They said dododododododo bam **AGAIN!!!**" *rolls around on the floor*  
Brock: (to K&A&A) "Hey ladies, how about you and me..."  
Kster: "I don't know what he was about to say, but the answer is **NO!**"  
Ashxmisty: "Mallet please!"  
Pikachu: (dutifully hands Ashxmisty Mallet)  
Ashxmisty: "Thank you." ****WHACK!!!!!!!!****  
Mayluva: (to Max) "So Max, how have things been going?"  
Max: "Well, according to my theorum, my hypotensionatical gland is enlarged so I'm contaminated with an inflamed esophogus..."  
Mayluva:*sweatdrop* "I see...that's...nice..."  
Ash: "Hey Myst, I'm bored, lets make out."  
Misty: "Sounds good to me!"  
Papa Luigi:*sighs* "And I'm supposed to run a restaurant with **THIS?**"

**(stretches fingers!) I've missed Fanfiction so long and it good to finally be reunited with it again! Hope you liked and remember: This fic is only meant to be silly and fun, no intentinal bashing is included (well maybe May...) and we love these charcaters but sometimes why not joke around? Mayluva and Autbumn are two awesome and the most sensational people the world has ever seen and if your not friends with them then your missing out!! BFFL! (reviewers cough) Anyway, you know what to do again! Read fast, Type fast and Review fast! Or at least do it for the this cute little cut out of Bambi? (holds lame Bambi cut out!) R&R!! PWEASE!!**


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